i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
