there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
