Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
