Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
BRING THE BAGELS
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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