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You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
