you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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