We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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