The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Who died my cat blue again?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
