She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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