I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
