life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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