I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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