Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
