I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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