i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
