things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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