so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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