We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
