So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
