R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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