I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
