I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So squirting runs in the family.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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