Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
