Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
