I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
