i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
