i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
