whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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