i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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