dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
