I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
