I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize