I got chris browned last night
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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