respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He better not be in your backpack
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
