And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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