it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
