Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
