i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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