True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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