dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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