So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
