i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is my gift to your gina
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
