I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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