Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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