your room smells of hookers.
And success
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
