oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's just like the Real World with babies
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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