I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
