I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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