so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
