Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
