my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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