ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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