My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
