i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
