After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
