you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
