eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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