i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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