escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize