Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize