Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
