So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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