if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
